I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
And then he peed in my hair
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