i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
