The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
