Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
