I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
