we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
