Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
