If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
