Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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