She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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