DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
