Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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