You work out of a Hotel?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
