That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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