Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
