Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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