I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
