Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
