I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
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diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
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I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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