i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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