Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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