I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize