You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
