Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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