I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize