Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
