I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think your dad took our porno
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
