My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
