I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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