i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
