I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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