I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
