It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
