there was a trapeze. enough said
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
