You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
