I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Boobs are out for the taking
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize