Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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