take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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