I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
