Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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