Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
