my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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