Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
