I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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