As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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