Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
