I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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