Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't know what to do about my nipple.