upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I want her autograph on my taint
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm too high and old for this...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
