Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
