allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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