i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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