Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
