WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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