so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
