is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
