Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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