I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
