Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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