Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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