The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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